


The In-Laws

by Animationfantic



Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Hater's a nervous wreck, M/M, Meeting the Parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8569015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animationfantic/pseuds/Animationfantic
Summary: Peepers' parents are coming to dinner. What could possibly go wrong?





	1. The Invite

_Where is he?_ Hater poked his head into the closet, searching. He clawed at his skull, wiping a sliver of drool from his front teeth.  _When I get my hands on him…_

The closet was full of spare uniforms and cloaks, all hung up neatly. Hater snorted impatiently. He moved a row of clothes aside, still looking.

Something shot past his ankles, small and fast. Not fast enough.

Hater caught Peepers as the Watchdog jumped on the bed. In his hand was Hater’s missing jawbone.

 _Gotcha!_ Pinning Peepers down with one hand, Hater started tickling him. His bony fingers skittered under the Watchdog’s armpits and across his belly. Peepers kicked and squirmed, trying to escape the tickles. His giggles made Hater’s heart lighter than air.

“OK,” Peepers gasped out, “OK! I give! You win!”

Hater huffed happily. A dribble of spit ran down his down his hood as he flopped over onto his back. Still laughing, Peepers crawled across the mattress to reattach Hater’s jawbone. Hater opened and closed his mouth a few times. It squeaked a bit, but that was nothing new.

“You’re making this too easy,” Hater teased. “Hiding in the closet? C’mon, Peepers, you can do better than that!”

“Shut up,” Peepers said.

Hater saw unbridled affection in that big red eye. He opened his arms, and the Watchdog curled up on his chest. Peepers wasn’t wearing his helmet, and Hater relished the gentle pressure resting against his cheek. Their fingers automatically twined together.

A wonderful warmth spread through Hater’s marrow. Peepers was the only one who could Hater feel like this; warm and happy and secure.

“You’re the greatest,” Hater told him, very softly. “I love you, Peepers.”

Peepers sighed happily, snuggling closer to Hater’s ribcage. “Love you more, bone daddy.”

“Don’t turn this into a contest, Peeps, you know I’ll win,” Hater purred.

He kissed Peepers, and held him even tighter. That warm little weight made Hater’s heart flood with happiness. He squeezed Peepers’ hand, just as the communicator on his boyfriend’s hip flashed.

Hater snorted. _Every time we get a minute alone!_

“It’s my mother,” Peepers said, squinting at the screen.

Hater sighed. “Better pick it up.”

_Elara won’t leave us alone if we don’t answer._

Peepers pressed a quick kiss to Hater’s cheek and held the phone up between them.

“Hello, boys!”

“Hey, Ma.”

“’Sup?” Hater asked.

Elara’s overly-enthusiastic voice made Hater nervous. He exchanged a glance with Peepers. The Commander’s expression was wary.

“We haven’t heard from you two in a while,” Elara began.

 _Oh, boy. Incoming guilt trip._ Hater braced himself.

“Are you boys doing all right?” Elara asked.

“We’re _fine,_ Ma,” Peepers said pointedly.

Elara ignored him. “Well, your father and I agree, a little visit is long overdue,” she said. “It’s been way too long since we’ve seen you.”

“How about coming over for dinner tomorrow night?” Hater blurted out.

Still on the skeleton’s chest, Peepers stiffened. Hater swallowed.

“That sounds wonderful!” Elara gushed. “We’d love to come to dinner!”

Peepers stared at him. “You sure?” he mouthed.

Hater felt sick. He nodded mechanically. Words wouldn’t come.

“Okay, Ma,” Peepers said cautiously. “We’ll see you and Pop tomorrow at seven.”

“All righty, then, talk to you soon. Kisses!” Elara trilled, and she hung up.

A full three seconds of silence followed. Hater forgot how to breathe. _Dinner with Terry and Elara? Grop, Grop, Grop! What did I just do?!_


	2. Calling the Expert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hater makes a call to an unlikely source for advice.

Hater could feel his hands shaking. He sank back on the pillows, still holding Peepers. _I’m gonna puke. What was I thinking?! Dinner with his parents?! They’ll hate me!_

Hater stared blankly up at the ceiling. His whole body felt numb. Peepers suddenly kissed him, forcing Hater back to reality. “Don’t look so scared, big guy,” he soothed. “Come on, where’s that smile?” Peepers gave Hater’s frozen fingers a tight squeeze. It didn’t help.

Hater tried to say something, anything, but a hard lump forced the words back down his throat. He stared at Peepers, his Watchdog.  _He’s my whole world. What if his parents hate me? What’s gonna happen to us? I’ll lose him!_ The thought made his stomach clench. _What am I gonna do?_

“Are you all right? You look ready to throw up.”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, I’m fine,” he muttered, not looking at Peepers. “I need to make a call. Be back in a few.”

Hater almost ran out of the room. He moved automatically, not paying attention.  _I need help. I need Wander._

The throne room was abandoned. Hater dropped into his chair. “Call Wander,” he said.

The huge screen blinked to life. Hater held his breath.

One…two…

Wander finally picked up on the third ring. “Hater?” he asked groggily.

“I need in-law training!” Hater gabbled out. “It’s an emergency!”

“Slow down, Hatey-bo-batey,” Wander said, rubbing his eyes.

Hater gritted his teeth. “Don’t call me that!”

 _Only Peepers gets to call me Hatey! I’m_ his _Hatey!_ A shard of ice pierced his heart. _What about dinner? What happens then? I won’t be his Hatey. I won’t be his_ anything.

Wander still looked half-asleep. “Take a deep breath,” he yawned. “Slow your roll. Tell me everything.”

Hater forced himself to settle down. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took in a huge gulp of air. “His parents are comin’ over.”

Wander propped himself up on his elbows. “Okay. Keep goin’.”

“Of course, I just had to open my mouth,” Hater spat bitterly. “I wasn’t thinking, I never think! Gah, I’m such an idiot! His mom was pullin’ the guilt trip card, and I panicked!”

Hater broke off to swallow. Wander waited patiently, not interrupting. A cold wave of panic and self-hatred crashed over Hater until his marrow throbbed with fear. “Now, they’re comin’ to dinner tomorrow night,” he wailed. “And I need to impress them, or I’ll lose Peepers!”

Sudden tears stung Hater’s eyes. Wander’s face became blurry. Hater felt his face get hot with shame.  _And now I’m crying!_ _Pathetic!_

Wander’s expression softened. Hater sniffed and scrubbed at his eyes. “I can’t lose Peepers,” he muttered. “Life without him…it isn’t life. I can’t lose him! I just can’t!” A piece of his bony heart broke as he said it.

Wander’s smile never faltered. “Oh, Hater,” he said, his voice soft and full of understanding, “Peepers _loves_ you. D’you really think he’d leave you because of what his parents might think?”

“I’m not taking any chances,” Hater snapped. “Please, Wander. _I need your help.”_

Wander shook his head. “No, you don’t. Peepers adores you. He would never, _never_ abandon you over something silly like that. He loves you too much.”

Hater’s nonexistent stomach dissolved. He felt sick. “How do you know?” he spat, baring his teeth.

“Turn around and ask him yourself.” Wander smiled, and pointed at something over Hater’s shoulder.

Hater’s spine went cold. He wanted to puke. He wanted to scream.

“Thanks, Wander, I’ll take it from here.”

_Peepers._

Wander hung up. The sudden silence pressed against Hater like a physical weight. _I’m such an idiot! What am I gonna say?_

“Can I come up?” Peepers asked. He didn’t sound angry.

Hater nodded, but Peepers was already in his lap. They sat in silence for a second that spiraled into an eon. Peepers finally spoke. “Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

 _Are we still gonna cuddle after tomorrow?_ Hater wondered desperately. Worry gnawed at him. Peepers was his best friend.  _What if I lose him?_

Hater couldn’t think of anything to say. Automatically, he wrapped his arms around Peepers, holding him close. Peepers kissed him. “It’s gonna be okay,” Peepers said. “I promise.”

The absolute certainty in his voice, the gleam in his eye, only made Hater feel worse. “Grop, I hope so,” he muttered, and hugged Peepers even tighter.

A fresh urge of panic turned Hater’s spine cold. He closed his eyes and pushed his forehead into his boyfriend’s shoulder, seeking warmth and reassurance.  _What am I gonna do? He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t lose him! What am I gonna do?!_

A small hand rubbed one of his horns. Hater wanted to stay like this, holding his Watchdog, ignoring the rest of the galaxy. Peepers still wasn’t wearing the helmet. His eye pressed against Hater’s cheek with a wonderfully soft pressure Hater knew better than his own name.

“Peepers, I love you,” Hater whispered.

Peepers nuzzled him fiercely. “Stop panicking, right now! That’s my job. You’re Lord Hater, you’re the greatest in the galaxy!”

“Not without you!” Hater croaked. “Peepers, I love you, you’re the reason I’m _anything!_ I can’t lose you!”

The truth of it sank like a stone in Hater’s stomach. He tried to breathe normally, tried to swallow past the howl of anguish clogging his throat.

Peepers covered Hater’s mouth with his hand. “Shh, shh, shh,” Peepers soothed. He cradled Hater’s skull in both hands, forcing Hater to look at him. “Who cares what my parents think?”

 _“I do!”_ Hater moaned.

Peepers kissed Hater’s forehead. “Oh, Hater, I’ve already made my choice, and it didn’t involve them.”

Hater’s throat was dry. “But-”

“Hater, I love you too much to listen to my stupid parents!” Peepers said, exasperated. “I’m allowed to have a life, and I’m allowed to fall in love.” Peepers rubbed Hater’s cheek, and his voice softened. “And I fell in love with you.”

Peepers threw his arms around Hater’s neck, holding him so tightly it hurt. Hater returned the hug, held onto him, holding Peepers close until love replaced the fear bubbling in his marrow. “You don’t have to prove anything, not to me, not to my parents, not to anybody! No matter what, I love you,” Peepers said, and the warmth of his voice quieted the last of Hater’s panic.

Hater scrubbed the wetness from his eyes. “Man, I’m an idiot,” he muttered.

Peepers headbutted him affectionately. “Yeah, but you’re my idiot.”

He gave Hater another kiss, and the skeleton’s heart fluttered.  _That furry spoon was right. It won’t matter. Whatever happens, we’ll still have each other._


	3. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The In-Laws are here!

“When are they gonna get here?” Hater asked. “I’m hungry.”

Peepers snorted. “You’re always hungry.”

“You know I eat when I get nervous! Not my fault your dad’s Terry-fying,” Hater snickered. _Man that’s a good one._

The ship’s hangar was empty. Hater had been sure to give the troops the night off. They’d been down here for a few minutes, just playing.

Peepers elbowed Hater playfully in the ribs. “If you make that pun again, so help me…”

The tenderness in his voice took the sting out of the words. Hater growled affectionately and flicked the helmet over Peepers’ eye. The Watchdog ducked under Hater’s arm to cuff him lightly on the chin.

Hater nuzzled him, laughing. “Come on, admit it. It’s funny.”

Peepers rolled his eye. “Dad jokes? Come on, bonehead. You can do better.”

“You little…” Hater started to say, but an approaching vehicle brought him up short.

_Here we go._

Peepers pressed himself firmly against Hater’s side. Hater took a slow, deep breath. “I love you,” Peepers said suddenly.

Hater saw the truth of it written in his expression. _I’ve got this._ “Love you more, baby boy.”

The minivan parked almost right in front of them. Cold beats of sweat dripped down Hater’s face. But he ignored it. Terry got out of the car first. Like Peepers, Terry was small, but husky, with a broad chest and a steely glint in his eye.  _Trust an accountant to look terrifying._

Peepers gave Hater’s hand a quick squeeze. “Don’t panic,” he muttered, just loud enough for Hater to hear him. “You’re doing fantastic. Pop’s all bark and no bite.”

Elara, Peepers’ mother, slipped out after her husband. Petite and graceful, she carried herself with a quiet confidence Hater recognized immediately.  _No wonder. Peepers takes after her._

“Hello, boys!” Elara ran to them, pulling Peepers into one of those constricting parent hugs.

Terry offered his hand. Trying to ignore his sweaty palms, Hater shook, and Terry clapped him on the shoulder. “Long time, no see! How’ve you been?” Terry asked, with genuine warmth.

Hater’s voice cracked with relief. “Hey, Terry.”

Over his father’s shoulder, Peepers beamed. Hater could almost hear the smug “I told you so!” But Peepers just rolled his eye, and walked over to embrace his father. Elara released her son and strode across to Hater.

“You look fantastic, honey,” Elara said. She gave Hater a quick peck on the cheek. “It’s wonderful to see you,” she added quietly. “I worry about Peepers. I’m glad you’re taking care of him.”

“It’s really the other way around,” Hater mumbled. “I don’t know what I’d do without him.” She smiled, and Hater relaxed.

“So,” Terry said, clapping his hands together. “Who’s hungry?”

“Terry, stop it!” Elara scolded gently.

She twined her arms with his, rolling her eye. Terry kissed her, and she dissolved into giggles.

 _Man, I hope_ we _can have that._ Hater glanced down. Peepers leaned against him, and Hater smiled. _We already do._

Hater scooped him up, and Peepers chuckled. He pushed his helmet lightly into Hater’s shoulder, and Hater’s smile widened.

“How’s planetary conquest, son?” Terry asked as they walked.

Peepers squeezed Hater’s hand. “It’s not conquering, Pop. We’re establishing lasting infrastructure on the planets Dominator destroyed.”

“We’re making good progress. Rebuilding the galaxy one planet at a time,” Hater agreed.

Terry gave a crisp nod of approval. “Good work, you two. I’m very impressed.”

Elara beamed. “That’s wonderful.”

The unexpected praise made Hater flush green. He coughed, and tried not to strut.

Peepers nuzzled Hater under the jaw, his voice soft. “That’s my boy.”

Remembering his manners, Hater propped the door open, bowing Elara ahead of him. “Ladies first.”

“Such a gentleman! Thank you, honey.”

“You picked a good one, son,” Terry said with a wink. “Be sure to treat him right.”

“Pop!” Peepers hissed, going red.

“He’s always good to me,” Hater mumbled.

The biggest conference room had been converted into a mini-restaurant. The overhead lights were dimmed. Everything was carefully redecorated with fancy plates, a new tablecloth and comfy-looking chairs. Even the little napkins were folded into…

“Tiny skulls?” Terry whistled. “Now, that’s craftsmanship.”

“Oh, a nice touch,” Elara agreed.

“Ah, ze party of four. Welcome, welcome,” somebody said in a bad French accent.

Hater blinked, horrified. Peepers groaned. An all-to familiar orange furball was serving Terry and Elara sandwiches from a gleaming silver platter. _Wander? Oh, boy._

Hater exchanged a glance with Peepers, and quickly backed out of the room. Careful to be discreet, he eased the door shut.

Peepers had his eye in both hands. “Of all times, why now?”

“I swear I don’t know what he’s doing here!” Hater hissed.

Peepers didn’t look up. Hater swallowed back his frustration, cracking his knuckles.  _I’m not gonna wig out, not in front the in-laws. Ooh, I am gonna kill that furry orange freak!_ “We’ll make it work,” he said abruptly. “I’m too hungry, can we just chase him off later?”

Peepers snorted with laughter. A smile tugged at the corners of Hater’s mouth. “Is that a yes?”

Peepers stood on tiptoe and kissed Hater softly. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Holding Peepers close, Hater finally sat down.

“Oh, there you boys are,” Elara said. “Hater, you never mentioned you knew an exotic chef.”

_He’s not a chef, he’s a lunatic._

“Uh, yeah,” Hater stuttered. “He’s an…an old friend.” The word stuck in his throat.

On the far side of the table, Wander’s face lit up. Peepers shook his eye, but didn’t say anything.

Terry raised his wine glass. “Well, Hater, I’m certainly very impressed. You’ve picked a winner, son.”

“Pop!” Peepers groaned.

Wander passed them, balancing a water jug on a finger.

“Don’t get used to this,” Peepers muttered under his breath. “This is a one-time deal!”

“Thanks,” Hater said, very quietly.

Wander and Peepers stared at him. Hater gave Peepers a hug, and tried to scowl at Wander. It didn’t fool anybody, but Hater was too relieved to care. For once, Wander’s meddling was helping out. “I owe you, Wander. Big time,” Hater said, still very softly. “But don’t forget, we’re still not friends!”

Wander winked. “I know, I’m just happy to help.”

“Thanks,” Hater repeated.

Wander slid over to Elara and filled her glass. “Zee selection zis evening includes a fine selection of finger sandwiches. Might I suggest…”

“See? Told you it would all work out,” Peepers said under Wander’s babbling.

“Yeah, yeah.” Hater pretended to sound annoyed. “You were right, don’t rub it in.” He glanced up the table. Terry and Elara weren’t paying attention. And Wander was busy pretending to be French. It was safe. Hater tickled Peepers under the table. “You were right; I should’ve listened to you. I just panicked, when I thought I might lose you if this didn’t go well.”

Peepers rolled over in his arms, curling up on Hater’s shoulder. “I know it’s stupid, but…I love you so much. And if I lost you, I don’t know what I’d do…”

Hater stopped talking. Peepers suddenly kissed him, long and hard. Time slowed down for a few blissful seconds. When they finally broke apart, Hater was breathless. Nobody else seemed to notice what had just happened.

Peepers rubbed Hater’s cheek, and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I love you, too, Hater.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read this, everyone!


End file.
